I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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