She said her name was "party"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
