glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
