Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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