On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
