i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
