We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
