i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
