i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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