I didn't shave. On purpose
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
