Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
