I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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