I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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