Im at strip club and am horny
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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