White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
