What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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