I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
