I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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