do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
