if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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