Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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