How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
