I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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