69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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