I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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