I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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