I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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