i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
They have beer where we have blood.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
