Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
