that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
