he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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