I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
