He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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