How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
