A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
two words: eviction party
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
