But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
