Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
