i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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