So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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