i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
