Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
