i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
