I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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