i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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