Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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