FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
