i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
