brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want to have your abortion
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
