I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
