dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
